In light of Roy Nelson’s recent beat down over Kimbo Slice, we here at MMACRAZED decided to pay homage to the fattest fucks ever to step foot in an octagon.

5. Roy Nelson

Come on, you know we can’t make this list without mentioning the fat fuck who inspired it. Roy Nelson… what were you thinking? I know you wanted to show how tough you are and how bad Kimbo is on the ground, but now, instead of thinking former IFL Heavyweight champion Roy Nelson, people will think, fat fuck Roy Nelson, who sat on Kimbo for two rounds and hit him with the rage of a gay paraplegic.

Next time Roy, HIT HIM HARD.

4. Butterbean

This grotesque excuse for a human being almost didn’t make it on this list. It’s hard to call the 10-6-1 former Boxer an MMA fighter, because for years growing up I sat in awe of his morbidly obese body pummeling through pathetic no-name boxers on Fox boxing. But now, apparently his fat ass is more comfortable lying down than standing up, and he is perusing MMA.  His next fight against Tank Abbott should be ridiculously funny and sad at the same time.

I mean, you can’t fault the guy, he knows he’s a joke, and he’s making tons of money.

3. Wesley “Cabbage” Correira

I was tempted to put this guy at number 2 because I really fucking hate how he looks, but I can’t detest Cabbage more than the other wastes of life on this list. For those of you who don’t know Cabbage, he’s probably best known for getting destroyed at the hands of Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arvloski, and being the “other bald fat guy” who beat Butterbean.

I mean, he may not be the best fighter, but at least he doesn’t make his obesity the fulcrum of his professional career.

2. David “Tank” Abbott

I really don’t know what to say about Tank Abbott other than he gets fatter every time I see him. I’ve pretty much always hated this guy because of the image he gives MMA. Sure, fans love seeing blood and people getting their faces smashed in, but if I wanted to see an overweight, hairy, drunken, fat guy fight, I’d just go to a dive bar.

I think that for the Alabama Pride event, Tank Abbott and Butterbean should tag team against DMX and that other no-name-idiot in a battle to the death on a 2×4 plank of wood over a bed of spikes.

1.    Wagner “Zuluzinho” da Conceicao Martins

Tipping the scales at an astoundingly disgusting 390 lbs. Zuluzinho is the next to make our list. This fucker only made it to the number 1 spot because he is disgustingly obese, and he is absolutely horrible at MMA. For those of you who despise Roy Nelson, I suggest you check this guy out; he’ll be making you want to commit suicide within seconds. This lard sack has a pathetic record of 5-6 with a loss against Ikuhisa Minowa, who he outweighed by well over 150 lbs.

If you haven’t seen that fight, the strategy for Minowa was to literally run circles around him until he was so tired he’d lose.

No really, I’m serious, check it out.